So... I have a few posts started that are just waiting for pictures to be added (lets face it, I can't take pictures of my newly decorated room until I get it clean, and we all know that could take awhile). This has been a tough year with a tough group of kids, and there's less than 2 months left now. But lately it seems like the never-ending tunnel. I've been putting in several 14 hour days a week and still can't seem to get caught up and get everything done. By the time the weekend is here I usually just don't want to do anything, although I should be using that time to keep trying to get caught up. I've been trying to teach my kids about respect, because they've never been expected to respect anyone before it doesn't seem like. It's been a never-ending battle of owed recess minutes, lunch hours, dictionary copying, and the list goes on. I'm ready to give up, but at the same time I refuse to give in and let them win. I'm afraid they are going to end up hating me or thinking that I am super mean, but I keep trying to tell them that I love them and I'm doing this to try and help them learn an important discipline. I thought things were going semi-well until I found out every time my back is turned, they are making faces or talking across the room or pretending to play punch me or someone else in the room. I feel like all they've learned is how to misbehave and not get caught. Then tonight as I was trying to get things graded and copied and ready for the next day, the printer stopped working, restarted, and then got jammed. I was trying to pull out one of the papers when my hand slipped and hit the open copy door super hard and swelled up like a strawberry... I literally have a giant egg on my hand.
I know I'm so close, but at the same time, I'm so tired and worn down. I know I work to hard, but in the 2 years that I've been here I haven't been able to figure out the secret of getting everything done and having time off. I think part of it is me, I seem to work too hard at everything, and part of it is just the luck of the draw... a hard year with difficult students.
Hopefully one day they will look back and know that I did this to help them and they will see that I pushed them because I knew they were capable of more. I'll never really know. Right now I need patience... and a fast-forward button to the end of the year.
Depressing post, I know. More fun posts to come with pictures of my awesome room and my apartment. Just gotta find time to get my room clean....
No comments:
Post a Comment